ADD - Then Subract!

No more ADD meds for Cara. Nope. I'm not putting up with feeling like I'm flying high and cocky for a few hours only to crash like a junkie when it's all over. Not me. I've done the research. I've tried them. They don't help, they just make me feel high, and that's the LAST thing I need! Funny how psychotropics like Ritalin and Adderall are handed out like candy to "ADD" diagnosed individuals. Of COURSE they help! So does a line of coke! And have you taken a look at the symptoms? I'm guessing 90% of the population could probably diagnose themselves! I'm just especially prone to doing so, partially because of the profession I'm in, and partially because I always believe that something is wrong with me when there isn't. I'm through with trying different medications from my psychiatrist. He's tried me on so many different things, and I've only stuck with one medication, and even though I don't want to take it at all I'm afraid that I will have to for the rest of my life. Celexa. Non habit-forming dinky little white anti-depressant pill that I take every night so I don't sink into the depths of despair that Abraham Lincoln and I are prone to having (see Other Brother Daryl's reply to the last post for an explanation).

I'm glad I tried, however, and that I know myself well enough to know when. I now know what it feels like to take these nasty little things, to think that they are helping, to realize later that its only that you're becoming addicted and your brain is telling you you need more to feel good again. Just plain nasty!

So off to bed for me. A night of sleep desperately needed after the Sox and Ritalin kept me up late nights all week. Sigh. Tomorrow is Friday and I'll make do with feeling like a normal human about to enjoy my weekend. Add some coffee, Altoids, and perhaps a nice lunch at my favorite restaurant near work - Francesca's Bryn Mawr. Subtract those meds, the negativity in my life, and the belief that I must alter myself in order to be happy.