I'm a Shy Girl

I spent all afternoon yesterday soliciting art from people at an art festival downtown. The experience left me feeling very drained and annoyed. First of all I am NOT a saleswoman. I HATED selling girlscout cookies door-to-door when I was a child. It's even more difficult asking snooty artists to donate their stuff to a non-profit charity. I'm not saying that all of the artists were snooty, but there were quite a few that wouldn't give me the time of day. Bastards. Anyway, I'm not good at asking either. I started into my spiel and tripped over words, averted my eyes downward, and basically felt like an annoying slimeball for even being there with my little Tree House t-shirt and totebag. I did manage to acquire 4 pieces, which I think was quite an accomplishment considering.

I don't like meeting people. I'm hardly ever in the mood to strike up a conversation with someone I don't know. And I'd rather chew on glass than ask people in person for money or stuff for charity.

Today I'm going to an all-women's potluck that my friend, Leah, organized so that a bunch of cool Chicago ladies around the same age bracket could meet each other. I have to say I'm dreading it. I know it'll be a good experience for me, but I just feel so awkward and insecure around new people. ESPECIALLY women! I had the opportunity to invite another woman friend to come along, but I opted not to because then I'd have to go through the awfulness of introducing people, which I absolutely hate.

So I made a pasta salad, am currently gearing up with coffee and blog-writing, and I'm feeling grateful that this thing today is only a couple of hours. God bless Leah for organizing it. It is a great idea, and I'm sure it'll be fun. I just have my doubts that I'll actually meet someone that will be interested enough in me and I in them to continue our acquaintance past this luncheon. Pessimistic, I know. I'm just basing this on experience, and the fact that I seem to have a very difficult time retaining friends.

After lunch I have a long afternoon to look forward to. A little studying, reading, nap time, light cleaning, and loads, I mean LOADS of time to myself! I, the introvert, relish time to myself! So does Dave so we work really well that way. No social awkwardness for us when we're together. No sir. And if we're forced into meeting people together then at least we have each other in our positions by the wall! No wall to stand by in a back yard potluck, but maybe I can find a comfy position by the food table. I could feign illness or fatigue and park my butt on a chair by the food. What will be even better is if there is an animal there to spend time with. Dogs are always good for that.