I Have Choices

I'm making a decision today. I'm deciding to be happy. A friend of mine told me a couple of years ago that she, one day, decided to do the same thing. I've always admired that, wondered if that was really possible, and doubted that I'd ever be able to do the same. Well after thirty years of life experiences I can honestly say that I am somewhat of an expert at this thing we call living, and I know what makes me happy. I also know that I can decide to be happy within myself in spite of ALL obstacles that inevitably fall into our path during this journey. Because happiness really does come from within, not without, and that place can never be disturbed by outside influences. It is our essence. The essence of a flower isn't gone until the flower dies. Same with us.

I was "smudged" yesterday by my massage teacher, Elias. A classmate, Eric, and I visited Elias's private practice to work out kinks in our massaging before we begin student clinic. This smudging is a shamanic ritual that involves standing with your eyes closed, having someone stand behind you to "hold space" and then having the shaman (teacher/healer) burn very aromatic incense over you and wave it all over your body with a feather. I would like to think that my new attitude today is a result of this healing ritual. I don't think that having someone concentrate their caring attention on you can EVER hurt, so I'm grateful, at least, for that.

I've been bothered very deeply lately by stuff outside of my control. I believe that this has caused me to revert back to some old habits, namely negative thought patterns, that used to cause me to be unhealthy. I'm going to decide today to turn that around, and to be serene and accepting no matter what is going on in this crazy world of ours.