Self Esteem (or lack thereof)

One of the aspects of deciding to be happy is making a conscious effort to improve my self-esteem. This seems to be the most difficult challenge for me, and has been all of my life I'm afraid. I am my own worst critic, harshest judge, and toxic friend. To address these issues forces me to consciously, sometimes every few minutes of every day, catch myself in negative thought patterns - mostly involving self-criticism - and turning those thoughts into something else.

I've decided, noticing how other people tend to do this on a regular basis, that it is okay to toot my own horn on this blog. I've never been much of a braggart, and I don't want to turn into one, but there is definitely a difference between noting your achievements, assets, etc. in writing and letting the ego burst through to announce its ever threatened presence to the blog community. My post about clinic yesterday was a challenge for me. I find it hard to even announce the significant, life-changing achievements, let alone the smaller ones. Maybe I'll try noting, at least once a day, something positive about myself.

Here's a start: My hair looks good today even though I washed it last night and slept on it while it was still wet. The curls are all crazy, but somehow it works. They're all springy and bouncy and falling in my face. The back of my head is full and poufy. Fun hair!

Okay, that's all for today.