Nervous

I don't feel much like writing when I'm stressed, angry, fearful, or sad. Today, I'm just a little nervous, but I'm finding it really hard to want to write anything at all. I'm giving notice at Tree House today. I'm going back to my Case Manager job at C4. I need to have good health benefits for Dave and I. I need more income, and I really need full-time hours. C4 can give me all of those, plus wonderful vacation time, and of course, weekends and holidays free.

This is the big change that I had mentioned earlier. I have very mixed feelings about going back to C4, but mostly I'm just grateful that they took me back with open arms. I did love that job, and I know it so well. I thought that I needed to move on from there, do art, go back to school, etc. and I did. I needed a "sabbatical" and that is exactly what I got. I'm now in school, still making art (though not as much as I want to be), and I consider my experience working at Tree House to be very meaningful and valuable.

I plan to continue volunteering at Tree House, and hopefully I'll be able to do even more of that now that I'll have my evenings and weekends free. I just hope that they aren't too disappointed in me or mad that I'm leaving. I hate giving notice at jobs! My heart is really in the volunteering I do for Tree House, not getting paid for stuff that I really don't enjoy like fundraising. I realize someone has to do it, but I'd actually feel better doing that kind of stuff as a volunteer.

So that's why I'm nervous this morning. I haven't planned exactly how I'm going to give notice, but I know I have to do it today. I wanted to do it yesterday, but my supervisor was off. The other thing about it is that I really really like my supervisor and I'm so worried that she will be mad or disappointed in me. I guess I'll have to take that chance.

Tonight I have class, which I'm very much looking forward to. It'll be good to focus on something other than work and home.