Annoying Things About Chicago (a p.m.s. rant)
Here's a comprehensive list of things that currently piss me off about living here - OR are just pissing me off in general:
1. The weather and the fact that you never know what to wear - NEVER - because one day it is 45 degrees and the next day it's 80!
2. The fact that every damn spring the construction begins on the streets, apartment buildings, shops, CTA, but especially the streets so driving anywhere absolutely sucks when you think the opposite would be true because it is no longer winter and there is no snow or ice on the ground to prevent free flowing traffic. Oh no! Instead it is a cacophony of jackhammers, drills, bulldozers, and pavers, and the lovely aroma of tar is always hanging thickly in the air.
3. The CTA! The SLOWNESS, RUDENESS, INEPTNESS, and ABSOLUTE PAIN IN THE ASS IT IS TO TAKE THE TRAIN OR BUS ANYWHERE IN THIS DAMN CITY!
4. People. I'll break this one down:
How come in a city of millions of people I still run into people I know on the streets? I didn't move here for that. And why are people always sick and hacking up nasty, gagging, phlegmy stuff around me ALL THE FREAKING TIME??? I haven't been sick in probably 2 years so why is everyone else? Well, I can offer an explanation. It might be all of the crap that people eat here - fast food is everywhere. So people are obese (and taking up more than one seat on the bus when I ride it), eat like crap, spread their germs on the CTA and every other public place so that I feel like I constantly have to wash my hands. I have been getting annoyed with children lately - especially really young ones and then the ones in high school. The young ones seem to be increasingly everywhere I go with their shrilly voices, annoying whines, and irresponsible parents. They seem to always be in my way, and if they aren't in my way their parents with the gargantuan strollers are!!! It seems like there are hundreds of children in the apartment building next door to me, and I wonder why it is that their parents seeem to be having more and more and more of them when space seems so limited and kids seem so deprived here already with the fact that schools are unsafe, the streets are unsafe, adults are unsafe, there aren't any yards to play in, parks are unsafe, everything is polluted, including the lake, and it just seems like a really bad time to be breeding in the city or anywhere for that matter. Okay, and then high school kids are just scary here. Maybe it is the same everywhere, but sometimes when I'm walking I run into a posse of them and I swear I feel like checking to see if the lovely CPD are around. They seem to be completely out of control (parents, where are you?) with not enough to do, very poor mastery of the English language, very entitled sense of space (won't move out of your way for nothin' so it forces you to step out of THEIR way), extreme weight problems, very bad acne, very loud, obscene voices, and, I hate to say this, but kids are SMELLY! Okay, I'll conclude my rant within a rant about people with this - Chicago is a racist damn city, and I'm so sick of hearing racist remarks everywhere I go, and then having to endure the results of endless racism by all of the anger and hate and generally bad karma that it spreads! DAMN that's so sad to me! And I should mention that the people that spout racist comments are as diverse as the world we live in. I never hear it coming from just one group - it is EVERYONE.
5. Smoking. People, come on! Why the hell is this still going on? I endure the stench of it almost everywhere I go, and guess what - I'm so allergic to it now that I break out in hives when it I'm forced to breathe it. Get a life! (Now I should mention, speaking of karma, this is probably biting me in the ass now because of all of those years I smoked like crazy and people had to put up with MY nasty habit!)
6. Noise. Lawnmowers, weed wackers, cars, horns, motorcycles, skateboards, planes, trains, shouting, screaming, dogs barking, kids, etc. etc. etc. I want peace!
7. Litter. I saw a nice little old lady throw her empty cookie wrapper on the ground next to me while I was waiting for the bus today. Right in front of my face like she was proud of it. I felt like saying something, but I've learned the hard way that you choose your battles, and it just wasn't worth it. I should've picked it up, though.
8. Robbery - my car stereo was stolen AGAIN from my car - the window smashed out AGAIN, and my ipod stolen by some band of idiots in my own neighborhood. Fuck.
9. Don't even get me started about animal abuse, and the stuff I've been hearing about lately in the news and at the shelters.
10. Driving. People drive like shit. It is SO damn dangerous I can't even believe I still do it, of course I'm forced to do it for work, but I hope someday to give it up altogether.
11. Okay, I think I'm almost done, I just needed to vent. It's that time of the month, and I'm tired of keeping all of this to myself so I thought I'd come home today and spread my love. Let's see if I can come up with one more - oh yeah! The smells! I smell a lot of smelly smells doing the work I do, but it doesn't matter because they are everywhere. Car exhaust, doggie doo, children, b.o., cigarettes, alcohol, tar, garbage, and did people stop brushing their teeth because lately it seems like hallitosis is running rampant in our city - like people eat turd burgers with onions for lunch and then decide to ride the CTA - vomitous!!!
Okay, rant's over. Thanks for listening.
1. The weather and the fact that you never know what to wear - NEVER - because one day it is 45 degrees and the next day it's 80!
2. The fact that every damn spring the construction begins on the streets, apartment buildings, shops, CTA, but especially the streets so driving anywhere absolutely sucks when you think the opposite would be true because it is no longer winter and there is no snow or ice on the ground to prevent free flowing traffic. Oh no! Instead it is a cacophony of jackhammers, drills, bulldozers, and pavers, and the lovely aroma of tar is always hanging thickly in the air.
3. The CTA! The SLOWNESS, RUDENESS, INEPTNESS, and ABSOLUTE PAIN IN THE ASS IT IS TO TAKE THE TRAIN OR BUS ANYWHERE IN THIS DAMN CITY!
4. People. I'll break this one down:
How come in a city of millions of people I still run into people I know on the streets? I didn't move here for that. And why are people always sick and hacking up nasty, gagging, phlegmy stuff around me ALL THE FREAKING TIME??? I haven't been sick in probably 2 years so why is everyone else? Well, I can offer an explanation. It might be all of the crap that people eat here - fast food is everywhere. So people are obese (and taking up more than one seat on the bus when I ride it), eat like crap, spread their germs on the CTA and every other public place so that I feel like I constantly have to wash my hands. I have been getting annoyed with children lately - especially really young ones and then the ones in high school. The young ones seem to be increasingly everywhere I go with their shrilly voices, annoying whines, and irresponsible parents. They seem to always be in my way, and if they aren't in my way their parents with the gargantuan strollers are!!! It seems like there are hundreds of children in the apartment building next door to me, and I wonder why it is that their parents seeem to be having more and more and more of them when space seems so limited and kids seem so deprived here already with the fact that schools are unsafe, the streets are unsafe, adults are unsafe, there aren't any yards to play in, parks are unsafe, everything is polluted, including the lake, and it just seems like a really bad time to be breeding in the city or anywhere for that matter. Okay, and then high school kids are just scary here. Maybe it is the same everywhere, but sometimes when I'm walking I run into a posse of them and I swear I feel like checking to see if the lovely CPD are around. They seem to be completely out of control (parents, where are you?) with not enough to do, very poor mastery of the English language, very entitled sense of space (won't move out of your way for nothin' so it forces you to step out of THEIR way), extreme weight problems, very bad acne, very loud, obscene voices, and, I hate to say this, but kids are SMELLY! Okay, I'll conclude my rant within a rant about people with this - Chicago is a racist damn city, and I'm so sick of hearing racist remarks everywhere I go, and then having to endure the results of endless racism by all of the anger and hate and generally bad karma that it spreads! DAMN that's so sad to me! And I should mention that the people that spout racist comments are as diverse as the world we live in. I never hear it coming from just one group - it is EVERYONE.
5. Smoking. People, come on! Why the hell is this still going on? I endure the stench of it almost everywhere I go, and guess what - I'm so allergic to it now that I break out in hives when it I'm forced to breathe it. Get a life! (Now I should mention, speaking of karma, this is probably biting me in the ass now because of all of those years I smoked like crazy and people had to put up with MY nasty habit!)
6. Noise. Lawnmowers, weed wackers, cars, horns, motorcycles, skateboards, planes, trains, shouting, screaming, dogs barking, kids, etc. etc. etc. I want peace!
7. Litter. I saw a nice little old lady throw her empty cookie wrapper on the ground next to me while I was waiting for the bus today. Right in front of my face like she was proud of it. I felt like saying something, but I've learned the hard way that you choose your battles, and it just wasn't worth it. I should've picked it up, though.
8. Robbery - my car stereo was stolen AGAIN from my car - the window smashed out AGAIN, and my ipod stolen by some band of idiots in my own neighborhood. Fuck.
9. Don't even get me started about animal abuse, and the stuff I've been hearing about lately in the news and at the shelters.
10. Driving. People drive like shit. It is SO damn dangerous I can't even believe I still do it, of course I'm forced to do it for work, but I hope someday to give it up altogether.
11. Okay, I think I'm almost done, I just needed to vent. It's that time of the month, and I'm tired of keeping all of this to myself so I thought I'd come home today and spread my love. Let's see if I can come up with one more - oh yeah! The smells! I smell a lot of smelly smells doing the work I do, but it doesn't matter because they are everywhere. Car exhaust, doggie doo, children, b.o., cigarettes, alcohol, tar, garbage, and did people stop brushing their teeth because lately it seems like hallitosis is running rampant in our city - like people eat turd burgers with onions for lunch and then decide to ride the CTA - vomitous!!!
Okay, rant's over. Thanks for listening.
posted by Cara @ 4:59 PM
2 Comments:
At 7:54 PM, May 25, 2006 ,
wafelenbak said...
Cara, I've had some fierce PMS too lately, and nearly threw my cell phone out a window today because I was so sick of it ringing.
But, "turd burger with onions" made me laugh the hardest I've laughed in a couple days. So thanks for that. :) And do what I do--curl up with a hot pack and a couple kitties--it does wonders!
At 4:49 AM, May 27, 2006 ,
Anonymous said...
Oh my goodness! I am so sorry for you - your blog stressed ME out and for that I have to say thank you. It is nice to reminded with a big old slap in the face how nice it is to live in Lindsborg!!!!! Hang in there sweetie. And thanks for blogging again - I've missed ya'.
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