Grumpy Again

I woke up this morning in a bad mood. I had bad dreams all night again - something involving a broken foot, problems between my mom and my in-laws, and something about my blog being read by people that I didn't necessarily want to read it. (This happens to be a real fear of mine which I'm trying to get over. I don't write about anything that I would worry about people reading, but I still feel shame about putting my feelings out there and the fact that they are accessible to anyone at all. I'm really trying to combat the shame because I believe that not letting my feelings flow has caused major problems in my life. This blog has really been therapeutic for me in this way and I intend to keep up with it as long as I possibly can. Still, the uncertainty and fear is there.)

My abdominal muscles are very sore, and I have cramps on top of that. I guess I'm sore from yoga yesterday, but yoga doesn't usually cause soreness in my abdominal region. Aches and pains add a nice flavor to an already grumpy mood.

Our house is becoming messy again even though we just did a very thorough cleaning and re-organizing. We are so hopeless at housekeeping. I don't understand why it is so difficult for me to keep up with the dishes or why our bathroom gets so disgusting so quickly.

I'm still stressing about the work thing. I'm scheduled to go in today and I still haven't talked to my supervisor.

We are still considering adopting another cat. I'm fairly sure that I'm not taking Meowza (he is just way too adoptable and I fear that he would try to dominate the other cats). However, I have fallen in love with another - Helen is her name. I would love to take her home, I just worry that I'm making a bad decision if I do. I hate feeling so indecisive.

So I know I'm complaining again, but sometimes I just need to let it rip. Thanks for listening. I'm sure I'll feel better after I talk to some people at work.